Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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