Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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