so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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