Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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