what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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