i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
