and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
