I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
