96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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