my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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