unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
