I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
