I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
