Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Someone shattered a urinal.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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