I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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