I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
