I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
