Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
