You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball