at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
