Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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