I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.