Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  but u need boobs to get one in the first place.

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  (301): : I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs. (1-301): but u need boobs to get one in the first place. http://tfl.nu/nypm
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (1264)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!

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  (503): I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!! http://tfl.nu/reo6
  Replies (25) Good night (3259) Bad night (864)
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  (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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  (323): I totes stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility. http://tfl.nu/gvmp
  Replies (57) Good night (6125) Bad night (800)
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  (718): View more from New York

  "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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  (718): "Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut. http://tfl.nu/b4vo
  Replies (95) Good night (6067) Bad night (1264)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4375) Bad night (1316)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.

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  (616): Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed. http://tfl.nu/ew4t
  Replies (17) Good night (1010) Bad night (4136)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping

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  (845): Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping http://tfl.nu/4jdo
  Replies (12) Good night (819) Bad night (2563)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.

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  (503): I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan. http://tfl.nu/4npq
  Replies (12) Good night (3454) Bad night (1961)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.

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  (832): I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship. http://tfl.nu/02yh
  Replies (3) Good night (1490) Bad night (613)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!

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  (843): Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics! http://tfl.nu/lxnu
  Replies (16) Good night (1669) Bad night (765)
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  (818): View more from California

  My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text

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  (818): My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text http://tfl.nu/gbkg
  Replies (28) Good night (1730) Bad night (765)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?

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  (804): I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day? http://tfl.nu/ul99
  Replies (2) Good night (1298) Bad night (368)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.

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  (386): correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart. http://tfl.nu/zuch
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (372)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.

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  (865): Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline. http://tfl.nu/4en0
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (312)
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  (420): View more from

  I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?

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  (420): I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses? http://tfl.nu/p6pp
  Replies (7) Good night (555) Bad night (275)

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