Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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  (207): there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW. http://tfl.nu/2lyk
  Replies (11) Good night (2234) Bad night (611)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe

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  (919): just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe http://tfl.nu/vn8k
  Replies (5) Good night (679) Bad night (3214)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.

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  (651): the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction. http://tfl.nu/x0dk
  Replies (35) Good night (3320) Bad night (1672)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.

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  (612): I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling. http://tfl.nu/2ybr
  Replies (8) Good night (4430) Bad night (573)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.

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  (817): No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/v4fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5724) Bad night (1265)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?

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  (713): Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order? http://tfl.nu/nfxj
  Replies (2) Good night (2892) Bad night (1071)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.

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  (508): I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine. http://tfl.nu/hmlf
  Replies (5) Good night (1487) Bad night (945)
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  (264): View more from Anguilla

  I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.

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  (264): I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/tyhu
  Replies (9) Good night (2088) Bad night (847)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

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  (816): I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before. http://tfl.nu/94fr
  Replies (6) Good night (1577) Bad night (580)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I am very proud of your internet skills

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  (512): You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick (305): I am very proud of your internet skills http://tfl.nu/83rs
  Replies (2) Good night (1100) Bad night (623)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud

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  (256): I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud http://tfl.nu/dlrj
  Replies (12) Good night (1802) Bad night (699)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (1) Good night (952) Bad night (328)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

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  (248): Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion" http://tfl.nu/821u
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (389)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.

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  (585): You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe. http://tfl.nu/6475
  Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (326)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell

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  (843): please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell http://tfl.nu/8d1q
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (228)

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