so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!