She is in my trunk
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.