just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.