I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
