I haven't been this sober since birth.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
