pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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