i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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