the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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