I just cut my nipple shaving
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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