i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
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just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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