Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
