someone threw a dead crab at me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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