So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
