fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
