I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize