she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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