Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
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I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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