I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
