Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
