Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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