this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
