It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
