she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
