after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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