Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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