i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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