she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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