So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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