As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
