Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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