Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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