I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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