but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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