wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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