Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize