exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
