There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize