Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize