ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
