I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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