Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize