I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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